Solitary at a wedding: the fresh new rules of wedding ceremony guest etiquette

Getting solitary during marriage period has long had a terrible rap. We’re consistently told in regards to the distress of participating in a marriage alone additionally the trouble of determining when you have a plus one. But all of our brand new study has actually revealed that singles’ attitudes towards wedding receptions tend to be modifying: so much so it’s time for you rewrite the rules of wedding guest decorum.

Studies show that 80percent of United states weddings take place between May and Oct, because of the most hectic area of the period taking place from August to October.1 It means we are going to hit the top of wedding period – and EliteSingles chose to celebrate by writing a success tips guide for single visitors.

However, after surveying 1500 People in the us to their marriage etiquette views, we found out something fascinating. Us singles have no need for a survival guide at all. The outcome centered on anonymous individual information, in reality, disclosed that the rules of wedding ceremony guest decorum might need to be rewritten, to be solitary at a wedding is no longer one thing to dread. In reality, for all of our own consumers, it’s something you should commemorate.

5 new principles of wedding ceremony visitor etiquette

Old rule: it’s type to give all visitors a plus-one brand new guideline: you and your guests are happy to fly alone

Involved and married people’s ‘other halves’ get an automatic marriage invite, but it is not ever been a guideline that solitary invitees need to be permitted to bring a date. That said, it’s assumed that it is the good course of action – hence solitary visitors are let down without any and something choice. This expectation is really so typical that actually etiquette doyens like Martha Stewart typically hand out suggestions about how to approach the fallout whilst still being maintain friendship.2

Yet, our very own survey announced that almost all United states singles cannot in fact desire a bonus one invitation. In fact, not even close to being a must-have, 58% believe that such as an ‘and guest’ in one individuals marriage invitation leaves an excessive amount of stress on the invitee to come up with the ideal date.Interestingly though, it appears that this attitude is one thing that is included with maturity: only 41percent of singles under 30 would prefer as without a bonus one, weighed against 52per cent of these elderly 30-45 and 58% of the elderly 45-60.

Old rule: women care the absolute most about being unmarried at a marriage brand new guideline: men think a stronger need to find a marriage go out

Classic romcoms like My personal Best Friend’s Wedding together with date for the wedding see ladies planning ridiculous lengths to find someone who will ease their particular single-at-a-wedding anxiousness. You will also have famous brands marriage Crashers and Zac and Dave Need Wedding schedules, where males have the time of their resides at wedding parties – if they don’t have a date around to cramp their own style.

But provides this stereotype had the time? All of our study says yes! The fact is, if there is one gender that’s unfazed about being solitary at a marriage, it’s females. If provided an invitation without an advantage one choice, 77percent of females would joyfully get alone to a marriage, in contrast to 65% of men. Furthermore, 25% of males would defy wedding visitor etiquette rules3 and get if they could bring a roman hookuptic date or deliver somebody without asking. Merely 17% of women would do equivalent.

EliteSingles’ internal commitment psychologist Zoe Coetzee claims “although becoming single at a wedding is not necessarily the touchy topic it generally was actually, the men and women can certainly still go through the ceremony in different ways. Females can look at a marriage much more as a communal celebration of really love focused on the freshly married few. But guys can enjoy a marriage much more as a competitive arena; the marriage atmosphere enhancing the instinctual drive to secure someone, and increasing the choice to create an advantage one to the celebration.”

Old rule: the singles’ table is something to dread New guideline: single guests actually value the opportunity to connection

Purely talking, the singles’ table have a lot more regarding marriage practice than etiquette, but that does not prevent it from a being a hot matrimonial subject. The loudest voices are usually those who paint the concept of a singles’ dining table as dire, seeing it as uncomfortable or just the ‘misfits table’– and this is truly your situation in pop tradition, with anything from Intercourse and also the City to The Wedding Singer showing the singles’ dining table just like the final spot you wish to end up being.

Therefore should singles’ tables end up being banned? Do not actually consider this. Definately not becoming a marriage taboo, 42per cent of men and women interviewed state that it is the single-at-a-wedding heritage they truly are likely to enjoy (for framework, the 2nd most-liked tradition, getting earnestly establish with other singles, only had gotten 19% associated with the vote!). Possibly this is because singles during the study start to see the table as a romantic chance – some thing emphasized from the proven fact that 61per cent of males and 52per cent of females see a marriage as perfect event to get to know that special someone.

Old guideline: generate singles feel special with a bouquet toss or unique dancing brand-new guideline: you should not single out the singles – address your friends and relatives as well

Following meal and the speeches, you are going to usually notice the DJ contacting all lovers up your lovers’ party. Singles you should not take part, but obtain turn in the limelight if it is time for the bouquet or garter toss. And, while they lack someone to dancing with, they generally can partner with an elderly relative or youthful flower woman, and everyone might be pleased, appropriate?

Really, in line with the study, perhaps not. Both least-enjoyed singles’ wedding ceremony practices are now being likely to end up being the one that will boogie making use of young ones (disliked by 29%), and taking part in the bouquet/garter toss (disliked by 26percent). Actually, besides the singles’ dining table, any task that markings your single friends as different might need to be rethought, also that lovers’ party. For 1-in-3 United states singles (36percent), watching the partners’ dancing when you lack you to definitely dance with on your own is the most challenging part of becoming single at a wedding.

Old guideline: in the event that you bring someone to you, it has to end up being passionate New guideline: platonic buddies improve perfect wedding times

Formal wedding ceremony guest etiquette claims that in the event that you’re considering the option of providing a friend to somebody’s marriage, you must take a ‘serious time’. According to Lizzie article (the great-great-granddaughter in the famous Emily), buddies, family members, housemates, and brand-new beaus simply don’t move muster – whether it’s not a committed romantic relationship, it is best to go to solo.4

However, contemporary predilections are in odds with these rules. If offered a firm and one invite, only 41% of the perhaps not in major interactions would please Ms Post and select to travel solo. The others would bring dates – nonetheless they’d ensure that it stays casual. 28% would bring a platonic pal, 27% would choose an innovative new crush or someone they would merely began dating, and 2per cent would look for a romantic date online.

Very, it can seem that the brand-new wedding ceremony decorum should value the fact Us citizens believe less proper wedding dates are alright. But do they still need to be romantic? Right here, the gender split again rears their mind. For females, the greatest time is actually a pal: 37percent would select a pal, and simply 16per cent would take a brand new squeeze. For males, it is extremely different: merely 17percent would like to attend with a platonic friend, while 41% would rather to take a crush/new fire.

Zoe Coetzee believes that the is because “women may suffer that having another time to a marriage can place excess force on a fledgling union, and accompanying a partner during the early phases of a relationship includes an additional duty for all the occasion. Whereas, guys can see a wedding as an intimate occasion to start a relationship, with it being an excellent platform to show off personal capital and relish the good effectation of a celebratory environment.”

Singles at wedding parties may not love every activity that’s thrown their unique method. But, the label of solitary folks fearing wedding parties and scrambling to obtain a suitable go out has experienced its day. Almost all American singles are actually thrilled to travel solo at a marriage, content to socialize in the singles’ dining table, and, when they do take a romantic date, ready to accept the idea of using a great buddy. Maybe, this marriage season, it’s time to rewrite the guidelines of wedding ceremony visitor decorum.

For those who have concerns or responses about correct marriage guest decorum, or about this research, let us know! Write a comment below or email us at [email secured]


Survey research from EliteSingles’ ‘Single at a marriage’ survey, 2017. Sample size: 1500 United states singles.

Prices from Zoe Coetzee considering a special EliteSingles interview, July 2017.

1 Dan Kopf, writing for Priceonomics, 2016.Whatis the preferred time of the 12 months in order to get hitched? Available at

2 Martha Stewart Wedding Parties: Your Wedding Guest Listing Etiquette Issues Addressed. Available at

3 Megan McDonough, creating for your Washington Post, 2017. A refresher on wedding etiquette, from difficult plus-one situations to profit taverns. Found at

4 Maggie Puniewska, creating for Refinery 29, 2014. 26 Wedding Policies You May Not Understand. Discovered at